I just joined Medium so I am a little behind and reading what’s around. This made me really sad. I had to stop and look in the phone-mirror while reading it. You can get there. And even though it can feel like artifice, putting effort into appearance can really help. Many cis women need to do this. Being a woman makes me comfortable, but some of the clothes don’t. At the same time — and I have to say that I pass, despite being 189cm — that the image in the mirror is always haunted by him. You need to be that person you feel like on the inside. You’re not dad but mom. The outside will come in time. Sorry if that sounds trite, but this stuff is hard and it’s really easy to get stuck in external validation, I know, I’m trans and have OCD — not a good combination. Hang in there. I hope you’ve been seeing glimpses of her in the mirror since you wrote this.

I am a trans doing her PhD in gender/cultural theory.

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