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It’s been five months since I had the surgery. It went well. I recently read that between 80–90 percent of female-identified post-operative transsexuals can achieve orgasm. I wish I had read that before. They always make it seem like there is a high chance it won’t work. Even the recovery was pretty smooth…save for that first day at home when the only mirror I could find to dilate with was a 5x magnification mirror — I cried. My vag even has a secondary clitoris in the canal. A specialty of my surgeon. While it is a little heteronormative, I am…


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Many have recently wondered why J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter series author and prolific auto-retconner, has recently made so many anachronistic “feminist” statements about the transgender community. Not only does her writing and comments about transgender persons fall short of the standards of emergent fourth-wave feminism, but they also fall outside of established third-wave norms — the wave which saw the expansion of feminist discourse to include people of colour, black, queer, and even trans perspectives. Rowling’s writing on the topic more and more seem to conform to fringe second-wave radical feminist ideas about gender and sex essentialism — a…


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This year is good — by all accounts. I count years by the academic calendar. I mean, politically it is a nightmare (this is why I avoid the calendar year — I’m always out of sync). And COVID is just the harbinger of how we cannot deal with climate change. But it’s okay, I’ve made my peace with it. No matter what we do, Earth will eventually become part of the Sun’s swollen coronasphere, and we will be ash and memory. So why not now? Why not expedite it? But this year has been a good year gauged by the…


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From “Metropolis”

“I do know that for the sympathy of one living being, I would make peace with all. I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other.”
Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

Recently I’ve been taking a nap around 2 pm most afternoons. In isolation, there isn’t much to do, and I am having bad hayfever. Last week, before one of these naps, I read in the paper that normal hospital operations were resuming in the Netherlands…


*Spoilers for Star Trek Picard and other Trek

I want to avoid the minutiae of the finale episode, so I will avoid the first half; it was fine. It reflects some of the larger plot issues of the series more broadly — though I believe they are mostly mitigated by outstanding performances (and the finale works better when watching part i and ii as a whole). However, the last half of this episode had lots of utopian Trek, which I need in my life right now (don’t we all). So let’s start with space flowers. This was a lot of…


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19th Century Egg Diagram (unknown artist)

“It’s possible to name everything and to destroy the world.”
― Kathy Acker

*I’m trying out edgier titles. I felt like “The Tyranny of Categories” sounded a little stiff and unwelcoming.

**Also, this is a little delayed, but I’ve been busy and it’s still important.

I have deleted Facebook from my devices, save for my laptop. There is so much shitty stuff that comes up that I just don’t need in my life. Whenever I log on I’m inundated by news of all the horrible things that are happening to our community; it’s overwhelming. I don’t use other social media…


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John Leech, 1843. The British Library

“You don’t believe in me,” observed the Ghost.

“I don’t,” said Scrooge.

“What evidence would you have of my reality beyond that of your senses?”

“I don’t know,” said Scrooge.

“Why do you doubt your senses?”

“You may be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of underdone potato. There’s more of gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are!”

— Charles Dickens

Last Christmas I had a premonition. I was suddenly obsessed with A Christmas Carol, I reread it, I watched two different versions of it. My partner thought I…


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“Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy.”

—Kafka

“The time is out of joint.”

— Hamlet

Last night my partner bought me a gold Casio digital watch for my three-year hormone anniversary. The watch is anachronistic, dischronic, an artifact of 80s nostalgia. Mark Fisher views the prevalence of such nostalgia for the paraphernalia of the past as the cancellation of the future. The present is flooded by the ghosts of yesterday. My future won’t materialize. The time is out of joint.

***

I arrived at Utrecht Central Station to find the direct train to…


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“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”
Ursula K. Le Guin, The Left Hand of Darkness

Transitioning can be wonderful, affirming, and lifesaving. But it can also be a deeply problematic process; unless you’re rich and have access to resources and services. And while access to hormones is becoming more available for those of us who reject the binary notions the trans healthcare system is based upon, accessing medical services is still mired in ideas of binary sex and cis/hetero normativities. …


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Audrey Hepburn drinking tea(?)

I have noticed an increase in the usage of “biological sex,” even on trans based blogs and social media feeds. This term is accidentally offensive at best, and a transphobic dog-whistle at worst — please stop using it! “Cisgender” is a better term to identify people who align with their sex/gender assigned to them at birth—not “biological woman” or “biological man.” And “assigned sex” refers to the sex a doctor labels someone when they are born—not “biological sex.” The first issue with concept of biological sex is that it enforces a rather dated and simplistic understanding of sex and biology…

AstraSubDomina

I’m trans, a grad student in gender studies, and a legal researcher.

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